Me, Myself and I

              Monday, the day mother nature punishes everyone for no good reason. Everyday, I wake up, hoping something new will happen. But no, life is that depressing. Everyday, I have the same thing for breakfast, hot chocolate with an extra teaspoon of sugar, plain cereal without milk, and a big slice of cheese on the side. You might think I’m creative but I’m really not. I’ve had the same breakfast meal ever since I was 7.

 

              I go to school on the bus, simply because we only have one car. My mom doesn’t have the time to drive me to school. Ever since dad left, she’s been working 3 jobs. She has my respect, working from 6 to 8. It shows me how much she loves me and my younger brother Calvin. Not like Dad who just left one day without saying goodbye. In fact he’s the one who called me Sally. Mom didn’t even argue and agreed with the name. Sally sounds like the name you would name a girl who has no purpose but to eat, drink, and sleep. Sluggish and no meaning.

 

            The bus arrived at school at 8:15am, like every morning. When I went upstairs to my locker, I saw all the popular girls standing in the same corner they always stand. Here at Morton Ranch, there’s 500 students per grade. In my grade you have the big groups, which are usually the 10-15 popular kids in the grade, surrounded by the 50 followers who act like they’re in the group, but in reality they’re just small ants in a big world. There’s some smaller groups in the grade which I think are the best because everyone gets the same attention. And finally you have the outsiders. I guess I’m an outsider because I’m honest. I don’t act like I’m someone else. But I guess that affects me because no one likes me. So I just sit on my own island while everyone’s having a great time on other islands.

 

           I get to my locker 10 minutes before class starts. I guess I consider my locker my real home. It’s the only place I feel I can think to myself. It’s my small box, full of thoughts and questions. I grab my binders and get to class.

 

WAKE UP!!

           I jolted up in my chair, with one eye half closed and a pool of drool on my desk. Ms. Griffin’s breath formed goosebumps on my skin. Ms. Griffin is like an old, rugged rat with the attitude of a racoon. Every teacher here hates their job, but it’s their only option as a job. That’s how bad it is here at Morton Ranch. I got up and started listening to whatever non-sense Ms. Griffin was teaching.

 

            It was time for study hall, everyone was in the hallway, chattering their way to class. As I was walking to class, Maggie jumped in front me. “Heyy, Babyy Sal.”

             “What do you want Maggie,” I said as I was furrowing my eyebrows. Maggie started talking quickly as I walked to class. I wasn’t listening to the drama she had to tell me, until she said the words, “a new boy.” I stopped her with my hand and stared at her.

“A new boy?” I said as I looked at Maggie for more information. “Yeah, he got here this morning; everyone is talking about him.” Right after Maggie said that, a teacher ordered us to get to class.

 

In class, all I could think about was this new boy. I don’t know why I’m thinking about him. It’s not like anything will happen between us. Who would want to be friends with a sorrowful girl that collects stamps for fun. Life is already over for me, so I might as well just forget about it. Six minutes later the bell rang. I didn’t get anything done because the new boy was bouncing in my head.

 

I returned home and went straight to my room. I had too much thoughts in my head to talk to anyone. All afternoon I stayed in my room, throwing a ball up and down. Right before going to to bed I heard the door open, it was Mom.

“Hey sunshine, are you ok? Calvin said you didn’t come down to eat.”

“I don’t know, I’m not feeling so well.” I said, as I pulled the blankets over me.  

“Goodnight sweetie,” Mom said as she gave me a smile and left the room. As much as a I love and trust my mom , I never tell her what happens in school. It gives me the shivers, the idea of telling adults about our problems. But it doesn’t matter. I sense hope. Hopefully it will show up tomorrow.

The next day, I was walking to 2nd period, which was science. As I was going around a turn, I ran into someone and fell over. “ Oh, I’m so so sorry,” said the boy as he helped me up.

“It’s fine don’t worry,” I said, trying to sound as normal as I could. After he helped me up, we locked eyes. We both had a curious look on our faces, wondering who we were. We both shook our faces a little to go back to the real world.

“Okay I have to go” I said as I started walking.

“What’s your name,” he said.

“I’m Sally, what’s your name,” I said as I glanced back at him.

“I’m Pablo” he said with the smoothest voice. As soon as he said that, a teacher yelled, “Get to class!” Me and Pablo both smiled at each other and ran to class.

 

        I sat at my desk and thought to myself, “What just happened.” You might consider it an awkward moment, but for me, it was the best feeling ever. All of my problems left my body once I saw his dazzling brown eyes and his big smile. It was the first time I smiled in a long time.

 

           During lunch, I was sitting by myself, eating beans and rice. I never had anyone to sit with. Luckily there was always a table in the far right corner of the cafeteria that was always free. Lunch is crazy here. Right when the bell rings, everyone speed walks to the cafeteria, trying to not get caught by teachers. It reminds me of people trying to get into Walmart on Black Friday.  It’s insane. As soon as I looked down to pick up my fork, I look up and there he is. “Hey, can I sit here,” he said with the voice of an angel. “Yeah of course Pablo.” I said. I couldn’t believe it. Pablo sat by me, out of all people. For once I felt useful, a part of something. He started eating his chicken strips, in a grubby way. He looked up at me for a bit. I gave him the biggest smile, thinking he was going to say something. He chuckled a bit as he was finishing his food. Joy filled my brain and I thought to myself “I made him laugh.” Once he finished eating he looked at me and said something. I didn’t hear him, but I didn’t want to ask him what he said, so I laughed. He gave me a strange look. I knew something was wrong, so i just told him. “Oh, sorry I didn’t hear you” I said very nervously. “Haha I said I find you very attractive.” I chuckled a bit, my face was as red as a freshly picked tomato. Before I could say anything back, the bell rang. We both stood up and started walking back to class. “When did you move here” I asked. “I got here two weeks ago. I moved here only with my mom, my parents divorced last year.” Wow, he was in the same position as me. A nice family turns into a complicated puzzle because of a douchebag dad. Heard that one before. After he said that, he quickly asked me “are you free this saturday.” I stopped walking for half a second. I didn’t know what to say. No one has ever asked me that question before. I answered with the classic “I’ll let you know after school.” He then said “ Alright, talk to you later.” We walked our ways and separated. As I turned behind a wall, I started jumping and screaming silently. “I’m going on a date, I’m going on a date.” I repeated it over and over again. I skipped to class, the joy filling my shoes with energy. Today was the day everything was going to change. All I wanted was something new, and I got exactly that.

 

It was 7pm. I was waiting outside Sonic, ordering a blue raspberry Icee. I knew he was coming. He could’ve not forgotten. He asked me, so I knew he was coming.

 

          Twenty minutes later, sitting on the bench, I was eating  two hotdogs with extra mustard. Since he wasn’t here, I decided to eat a lot. I would never do that in front of a guy, but sometimes food comes before everything else. As I was eating, I see a police car, with the sirens on. The car turned at Chick-fil-A, which was next door. Curiously, I decide to go over and see what happens. When I turn to the right behind Chick-fil-A,  There were four police cars, and a lot of policemen. I saw eight kids against the wall, some of them crying, others in shock. I looked at all the kids, and then I saw him. Pablo. He wasn’t crying, just staring at the floor, looking depressed. I ran to him, but out of nowhere a policeman pushed me away. “Sorry girl, we’re investigating the area, please step away.” I backed off, looking at the policeman in disgust. I tried to signal him, jumping up and down. He looked at me, looking at me as if I was his mother. He dropped his head without a word or signal.

 

        After sitting at the curb for 30 minutes, the cops started to put the kids in the cars. When they put Pablo in the car, I ran to him and looked at him through the window. “What happened”  I yelled out of the top of my lungs. He glanced at me. I could see the sadness in his eyes, becoming more and more glamorous. A tear came out of his eye. “I fucked up.”  The policeman started driving, I looked at his face as the car went away. Once the car was out of sight, I leaned against a flagpole. I just saw an opportunity get shoved out of my sight. Pablo was taken from me,but also my heart. I stood there thinking to myself, “why do these things happen to me.” It started raining fiercely, I started crying, sliding to the ground like my life’s hopes. I layed down, forgetting about everything. I didn’t care about anything anymore. I was tired of this life. I didn’t want it anymore. “I give up.”

 

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Perhaps, Credits to Shu Ting

Perhaps friendships and amusement

will change the path to success

Perhaps the earth’s soul we stick to

will be soon be known as a myth

Perhaps doing everything

will never add up

Perhaps the memories we cherish

will become invisible cells roaming  in our heads

 

Perhaps our everyday challenges

will lead us to the light in the darkness

Perhaps having fewer valuables

will help us be more thankful for what we have

Perhaps the hate around you

will make you stronger

Perhaps the poverty on the streets

is calling our names for answers

 

Perhaps because of our desire to succeed

we hold on tight and hope for the best

The Meaning of Us

Traditions often unstick from my soul,

My parents wanting me to be the Latino boy they’ve always wanted,

But I’ve been changing since the beginning,

I conform to my friends’ ways

Be like everyone,

Follow the crowd,

That’s the message nowadays from us teens,

 

But I’m not the only one leaving them behind,

People don’t realise traditions is what make our world,

The celebrations we celebrate,

The songs we sing,

they all have a meaning,

but like all things,

they are forgotten,

Thrown into the abandoned world,

 

So traditions aren’t only unsticking from our world,

But disappearing,

sooner or later we will be all wondering,

what is the meaning of everything.

 

I’m not the only one,

Everyone is detaching from life’s true meaning,

We are all victims.

The Presence of Words

        It’s amazing how many words there are in the world. With all the words in the world, we don’t use all of them. Many words have been forgotten, left behind, like acceptance and equality. The absence of these words has impacted us in a negative way, divided us. They are hard to find, always hiding in the shadows.

When there is no words there is silence. The silence of an empty hotel room, where the only thing you hear is the thumping sound of your footsteps. You feel the words presence, but they’re never there. We wait for something to happen, but nothing happens. Words always play this game. They should wander around, with the confidence of a lion. They should be free and fearless. But instead they decide to hide.